Written by the Commercials drummer, Pudge

So, this past week I've been on tour with my band, The Commercials, and another band from Florida called Keepsake. Here is the shorthand (well, not really short) account of what went down, but if you want to skip it, I'll just say it was a blast from beginning to end, with last night being the absolute highlight of the trip because we opened for Deicide.

Friday, May 18 2003, Pittsburgh, PA
It was just us, Keepsake, and one other acoustic band. It was at a bar, a rather small one. About 40 people came out. It wasn't anything special, we were a little rusty from not practicing. The bar offered us free food but it seriously took over an hour to get it. We went back to Harrisburg to my guitarists' place to sleep.

Saturday, May 19, Baltimore, MD
This was an afternoon show. We were early so we went to get some grub. There was a bunch of places up a few blocks so we headed up there, but every place was closed except a Chinese place. There was a Blimpie, two fried chicken places, a pizza place, and a convenience store, all closed at 3 on a Saturday. WTF is up with that? I hate Chinese food. But I ate it anyway. We played better this time, but the PA was fucked up, one speaker kept cutting out. Plus, the venue was so small that I had to set up my drums outside ands bring them down. There just wasn't room to store the equipment in there. We were done by 8, we went back to Harrisburg again. We stopped at a combination KFC/Taco Bell and pigged out. On the way back, Keepsake's drummer, Jesse, kept throwing ice cubes at me as I got in the van, so I flung a gob of mashed potatoes at their van, and the food fight ensued. We won, of course, because they didn't have any food to throw. The front of their van was covered in mashed potatoes and Mountain Dew. We met these two girls there and they came back to Harrisburg with us, where we watched Weezer on SNL and stayed up late into the wee hours of the morning.

Sunday, May 20, Lancaster PA
We played at the Chameleon. Nothing much to report here, both bands played well, about 75 people came. The sound system in this club is awesome, though, so we were actually able to hear ourselves. After, we went back to Harrisburg, and Keepsake went to their guitarists' place in Philly. We were partied out for the time being.

Monday, May 21, Malvern, PA
This show almost didn't happen. It was booked at two other places and it fell through each time, so it was looking rather tenuous as we wheeled in. With the show being moved twice and it being Monday, we weren't sure who would show up if anyone. Add to it the fact that it was precariously overbooked with eight bands. Surprisingly, a lot of people did show up. When it came time for us to play, we took the stage. We played one song and then we were told that we had one more song. The cops had come and told us to keep it down, and it was almost 10:00, so just in case, they wanted to have Keepsake get a chance to play. We got out two more and then the cops came and put the kabosh on the whole show. Keepsake didn't get to play. The cops said there were complaints, but that was bullshit on two levels: noise ordinance didn't kick in till 11:00, and the nearest house was a good 400 feet away. I was outside for other bands and it wasn't loud at all. The hall manager said that the promoter was violating the lease by charging admission, even though there was no such clause in the lease. Hopefully he can get his money back, but I doubt he will.

Tuesday, May 22, Boston, MA
This was at the Middle East, a really cool club in Cambridge. The opening band was called Hamartia, and they were so unbelievably good. Black/death metal sans theatrics, played by nerdy looking emo kids with sick blast beats and crushing breakdowns, and incredible melodies. I can't say enough good things about them. We played second- excuse me whilst I rant here. We were on tour with the headlining band, but the club decided that local bands on the bill would go after my band. I was a little annoyed at that. Sure, we weren't as well known as the locals, but that's the point of us being on tour with a national act. To put us so far down on the list hurt our chances of reaching people. The locals could have played before us- when touring bands play with us around here we give them the best spot possible. Anyway, my annoyance was tempered tonight by two factors- the band that proceeded us should have headlined, they were that damn good, and there was a good crowd there, so what the fuck. Rock and roll. We played really well, considering we didn't want to look like shit after that first band. All the other bands who played were great that night. Our lodging arrangements were at Northeastern University. The Keepsake guys and the rest of my band stayed in this girl's dorm room. I slept in the van in the alley we parked in, just in case we had to move the van and also to make sure nobody ripped us off. It's hard enough to sleep on a seat that is too small for you, but when people are yelling from the rooftops of dorms and people down on the street are threatening to come up with a bat and kill them, it's impossible. The cops came to quell the noise and I thought for sure they would ticket us or make me move the van. Parking anywhere else would be next to impossible, there were too many cars and not enough spaces. Thankfully, the cops let us alone. Keepsake, on the other hand, got a parking ticket.

Wednesday, May 23, Bethpage, Long Island, NY
Seriously, this is the sixth straight day of rain on this tour, and we were all feeling it. I don't care how doomy goth people feel about constant rain but it makes me crabby after almost a week of not seeing the sun. We stopped in Worcester, MA to get the oil in the van changed, then ate at a D'Angelo's. Worcester, well, the outskirts of the city, it's just plain dirty. It looks like a war-riddled town in Eastern Europe or something. Trash everywhere, abandoned houses, scrap yards, railroads that haven't been used in decades, burned out factories... Kinda like a Biohazard video. Thank God we weren't playing there. The show was at a bar called Someplace Else on Long Island. It was almost canceled because the promoter forgot about a pool tournament that same night. Well, we had 200 people jammed in there at five bucks a head, how much money would they have made if they cancelled the show? It rocked, and again every band was good. Afterwards, we stayed at the bassist from one band's house. After sleeping in the van, sleeping on a floor seemed like a blessing.

Thursday, May 23, South Amboy, NJ
This was at Krome, a neat club right on the main strip. There were two halls in the club. On our side it was an emo show, on the other, it was a death metal show. Deicide, Marduk, Gorguts, Withered Earth, and they threw in a local hardcore band called Path of Aggression. The guitarist from PoA is a good friend of mine, I didn't know he was in the band. We were busted down to opening the show. Again, I was annoyed but there were a lot of people there and we played the best we've ever played on this tour. The bands that followed us really had a high bar to leap if they wanted to look good. I skipped over to check out PoA's last couple songs. They were what one would expect from a NJHC band- they're the kind of music you kick people in the head to. Repeatedly and as hard as possible. The metalheads weren't into it, so my friend said that if they liked PoA, they could pick up a demo, if not, they could go home and brush their mullets. Classic. I love that guy. So, I spent the night bouncing between shows. In fact, everyone who paid admission was allowed to. So, considering that fact, I can say that we did open for Deicide. Some of the people from our side checked out the metal, and a lot of the metalheads came over to see our show. It was really cool that people were open to that kind of thing. I missed Gorguts, but Marduk I did see. Face paint and all. They were fucking terrible. The singer's voice was just bad, and while I credit any drummer who can blast for a long time, that's all this guy did. Plus, they only had one guitarist. Plus, I am sick of all the "Let Jesus Fuck You" stuff. It's so cheesy, you're not shocking or scaring anyone, give it a rest. Deicide was... just mind-blowing. They sounded so good, so tight, they had their shit together. Glen(n?) Benton was hilarious between songs, encouraging people to fuck each other up and claiming that Deicide was Satan's version of Lynyrd Skynyrd. Their drummer was smoking. Absolutely incredible. And people did, in fact, beat the christfuck out of each other. I counted four or five fights and nobody got thrown out. After, we went back to my house and I slept in my own bed, and here I am.
It was great, I can't say enough good things about being on tour. If you read this far, give yourself a cookie.

Sunday, July 22- Wheeling, WV
Early in the morning, Tony (the other guitarist) and Drew took the trailer in to have the lights fixed. I guess the wiring was still fucked up or something. Anyway, it took a while and we didn't leave Harrisburg till 2. On the way there, our "Maintenance Req'd" light goes off on the dash. Great. A new transmission isn't enough for this van, two days into tour we're getting plagued by automotive problems. We pull it over when it seems to be overheating, and there is a leak in the radiator. Son of a bitch. Drew and I use a paper towel to plug it up for the time being, we stop at the next gas station and get some coolant to replace what leaked out. On to the show. This place is a coffee house. Wheeling, WV is a ghost town on a late Sunday afternoon. There's buildings and businesses, but nobody is in them. In fact, it seems like every business has been abandoned except the coffee house we're playing at. Now, had my brain been working I would have noticed that the venue wasn't charging people admission, and they weren't selling coffee, soda, or food. What were they doing? Relying on donations. Man, I was asleep at the wheel on this one. So, we play. It is fucking hot in there. The sweat is coming off of me in sheets. I can barely grip my drumsticks. The last song, Drew blows a fuse in his bass amp, but we finish anyway. It's a good thing we sold a decent amount of merch because the venue didn't pay us. I was a little vexed at that, but I didn't find out till we were on our way to the place we were staying, else I would have choked the owner of the place out. But anyway, he has to live in Wheeling, WV, and that is torture enough.
We got the van looked at- the radiator is indeed cracked. Fortunately, we can buy one cheap an install it ourselves because we rule.

Fri, 27 Jul 2001
Last I left you guys we were playing in Indiana. Turns out it wasn't in Indianapolis, as I thought, but Muncie, which is considerably smaller and very far from Terre Haute, where the List Drunl dwelleth. The previous night we played in Trenton, OH, at some fishing lodge. It was a cool show, we played with a Canadian punk band and a local beer punk band. The show in Muncie was scheduled for August 25th, though. The promoter had mixed up the dates. So... we played anyway. It was at a record store and we played to the people who worked there. They couldn't pay us but they did buy some of our merch to sell in the store. We crashed at a punk rock flophouse where I played Misfits songs on an acoustic guitar while some chick who lived there subjected the other guys in my band to her beatnik-style poetry. I chuckled as I went into Horror Business.
Didn't get much sleep that night, and the trip from Muncie to St. Louis was long. We were added to this gig Wednesday night, so we had no idea who we were playing with. It turned out to be the best show so far. The other bands were The Stryder, Dynamite Boy, and Junction 18. Another local band played after us. We played first and even though I hate to pat myself on the back, we really went ballistic. Every band played great, and we sold stuff too. Not bad, considering it was supposed to be a day off. We play at the same club tonight, but the bands are more nu-metal and hard rock. Mindset is one of them, they kinda sound like Godsmack.
Interesting note- every house we have stayed at, the people who live there have had dogs- except one who had a cat that was as big as a medium-sized dog. Weird.
This house has two dogs.

"The Van Is Dying Tour, Summer 2001"
Wednesday, 15 August 2001
I haven't written much because I am 3 and a half weeks into a five week U.S. Tour. The shows have been really cool for the most part, but the fact that our van has needed three major repairs in the past month has really cost us all of our gig money, merch money, and even cash from our own pockets.
It sucks ass because I really want to enjoy this tour and I can't because the van sucks. I am praying to whatever powers might be that something hits and kills that van so we can collect the insurance and get a new one.
Right now, we are stuck in Birmingham, Alabama trying to find another band with a van who will take us on our Florida dates. The best shows we have booked and we'll probably have to cancel them.
Part of me wants to keep fighting, but most of me wants to go the fuck home. I'm so in debt and the bills are piling up. And hey, that's *if* I still have a job waiting for me.
You want to know why bands sell out? This is why. When you're "keepin' it real" you can't afford to eat, you can't ever get a good night's sleep, you have to risk losing everything just to play the next show. Some people romanticize that as if it's a good thing. Fuck that shit, pay me. I'd drum for Hootie & The Blowfish right now if it meant that I didn't have to worry about coming up with $500 in one week once I get back home.
I've had a lot of fun on this trip, but it's always tempered with the worries I have about what is going to happen when it's all over, and whether or not it's worth it. As Rollins once wrote- what a rotten fucking business I am in.

"This is getting really fucking old"
Monday, 24 June 2002
The tour is sucking really bad, and I, for one, have almost had it. As I sit here in Los Angeles thinking about where my life is going, I realize that I am almost 30 and I'm still living hand to mouth sleeping on people's floors while younger and frankly, less talented people are getting huge and playing to packed houses every night and making wads of cash. It's maddening. It's frustrating. I cannot afford to keep running myself into debt three times a year just to tour, and then spend three months catching up and saving for the next jaunt. I can't take much more of booking agents fucking us over, saying they got us on these huge shows in Cali with Ten Foot Pole and the Suicide Machines, only to have them never book those shows at all and leave us holding the bag a week before we leave for tour, forcing us to book shitty bar gigs and coffee houses last minute. I can't take promoters from other countries promising us that we'll make bank only to have the exact opposite happen.
What the hell are we doing wrong? I just don't get it. Maybe I need to just try and get into a band that's a little higher up on the food chain, because by the time this band gets there I'll be homeless and destitute. I'm tired of empty promises by my band and the people we work with. If I could afford a plane ticket home I'd be on the next flight.
Man, I went to see Bloodlet last night, we had a night off, and they rocked... I talked to Scott for a while, he remembered me from the Hope & Suicide show in PA. It was awesome, but all the other bands on that show have been around less than two years and they're packing the houses. I left that show very bittersweet- psyched because Bloodlet was awesome and pissed because 3/4 of those bands don't fucking deserve to be on a show like that.
I don't want to start hating what I love, but if I can't at least make enough to send some bill money back home and have a decent meal, then something has got to change. I'm fucking sick of it.

http://www.thecommercials.org/