Nice guy--- By Dog (Dog7734@aol.com)

For twenty-five years, I have wandered in search of the beast I call love. Each time that I thought I had found love, it would wound me with simple words. These words haunted and ravaged my being. Sadly, I am a funny, caring and giving guy. Every relationship or potential relationship always ended with the same words, "you're such a nice guy, but...."

Coworkers, friends and family, all said the same thing. Every time I heard those words, they echoed and pierced my ear drums. Soon I began to hear the voices and words ruminating in my mind. Slowly, I became filled with anger and emptiness. My mind was being overwhelmed with thoughts of hatred and revenge.

My first thoughts of pure hatred raced back to the very first girl I had a crush on. The voices not only told me that I'm a nice guy, but they also compared every woman that I every looked at to her. The constant hell of knowing that I would only be happy if she was mine further pushed my envelope. I had kept track of her for many years, I knew her basic work and social schedule. I still think of her, especially the night she finally was mine.

I had followed her home, on a crisp spring evening after work and waited until she slept. I put rubber gloves on and slipped into her apartment with the key I had made. She looked beautiful and peaceful as I watched her lay in her bed. I watched her for several minutes. Although I hated her, I knew I could never harm her. Next, I carefully walked over and wrapped a tourniquet around her arm. Waited for her to settle, then I tapped for a vein and smoothly glided the needle in. I watched her fade away and waited until she was still, knowing she would not feel it, I cut her tongue out.

Back at home, I sat in my favorite chair, holding her tongue, unknowing I had carved a N into it. Feeling unsatisfied, I began to think of the other women that I had hurt me. Entering my mind was the one that I achieved my manhood with.

Why bitterness towards her? Could it be that it wasn't the ecstasy that I had always dreamed of and that she lay there motionless, soundless. Or could it be that our relationship was lopsided and ended abruptly with no explanation except for "your to nice for me"?

I had not kept track of her but, I remembered where her parents lived. So I checked it out and luckily she still lived there. One night I followed her from her house to the grocery store. After, she went into the store, I partially let the air out of the right front and the left rear tires. She came out and drove away. I cautiously followed for about two miles and watched as she pulled over to see what was wrong. I drove by and then backed up and said "Cathy is that you?" she hesitantly said "yes", as I got out of my car, she said "oh my god what are you doing here?" I said, "Bitch I'm the one who let the air out of your tires and now I'm gonna kill you since I'm such a nice guy"! She started screaming and I shut her up by slicing her throat and cutting out her tongue. Redemption does taste better after a few years.

On the way home, my heart was pumping and my mind was racing. I wondered if what I had done had cured me of my hatred to women and would it be different to be touched by a woman who meant nothing to me? I got home, carved an I into my new prize and placed it into a baby food jar.

A week or so went by and my questions still went unanswered. I decided to go to a massage parlor. At first, it felt good having a strange woman massage my back. Then she told me to rollover, she continued to deeply rub, not only relaxing my muscles but my anxiety towards women. Suddenly, she grabbed me and began to molest me. I began to feel dirty and guilty which turned to hostility. I knew if I attempted to do anything to her at that moment, I would get caught. I offered her extra money if she would meet me later at a nearby hotel. She reluctantly agreed. We met later that night, and I suggested we have a few drinks. I got her drunk and drove to a different hotel. As I opened the door, she slurred "honey, we better get started cuz your time ends in less than." And before she could finish, I threw her on the bed and shoved a pillow over her face. As she struggled, I said "maybe, but your time's up, NOW"! Her body went limp, I picked her up, put her in the trunk and drove until I found a dumpster. I threw her in, I didn't bother cutting out her tongue. She was no prize.

Realizing, that my rage wouldn't be suppressed. I continued to ruminate on those who had hurt me the most. The next to die would be my high school sweetheart. Finding her would be a challenge, or so I thought, but as fortune would have it I ran into her at her place of work.

Upon seeing me she greeted me with a hug and the normal how are you bullshit. I patronized her by saying I was OK. She asked me if I wanted to get together for "old times" sake. I agreed. She told me when her shift was over and to come back.

After meeting her, we agreed to go out for a bite to eat. I left my car, and we drove off. While driving, we talked the usual and she asked what was new, so I told her about the killings I had committed. She glance over with a horrified look and said "you're kidding, right"? I replied "Nope" and punched her in the face causing us to swerve into a tree. Upon striking the tree, her head struck the windshield with such a force that she bit her own tongue off. Having worn my seatbelt, I picked up her tongue and limped back to my car. The letter C would be added to my collection of prizes.

One night stands, summer flings, every guys dream? Maybe for some but not me. Blindly, I thought I had a relationship with someone who I thought was sharing and returning the feelings I had towards her but as usual, I was thrown away, like trash. Reason, yep, "you're too nice to me..." She would be the letter E. She pissed me off so much, that her death doesn't deserve to be explained.

My friend Bobbi Jo dated or messed around with almost all of my friends. She never could see how much I cared and wanted her. We shared everything. She was great, she was into horror movies, the occult, and death. We even joked about killing people together!

One night she called and said that her parents were going out of town. She asked me to spend the night, so she would feel safe. As we lay in bed together, watching a movie, she fell asleep. My mind still full of hatred, was overcome with a yearning to taste her. Slowly, I moved under the covers, carefully sliding her soft satin panties towards her thighs. Oh, how I remember her sweet juices. I did not stop, I was unaware that I was biting and tearing her tender flesh. When I finally realized that she was punching and screaming at me. I grabbed her by the throat. As her body sank into the bed, I said "Do you notice me now"? I was proud to carve a G into my prize.
For the next for months, I kinda avoided women, only talking to those who I had no interest in. One night, I was on the phone with one of them who was at college and suddenly she put this other girl on the phone. Still bitter but feeling good talking to her, we agreed to talk again. we started talking frequently. My esteem was rising and hatred was turning to remorse for having killed the others.

After a few weeks, she invited me to her college. All seemed well, and the phone conversations continued. I went to visit her once more. Upon arrival, I felt something was wrong. As we were walking, she said "It's not going to work". I was expecting to here the dreadful phrase. But, she said nothing and walked into a gazebo. Overwhelmed with frustration, I grabbed her to turn her around. I didn't realize the force I had used until I heard her hit the wooden side and watched her body dropped to the floor. I knelt down next to her, watching her breathe erratically. I held her in my arms and snapped her neck. I pulled out my knife to collect my prize. I opened her mouth and proceeded to slice out her tongue. I stood up, only to see a mob of people all with their mouths wide open. I would have run but, the rent a cops had their guns drawn on me.

So here, I am in some local jail cell. Writing my tale so others will not have to ask why. It was not the music I listen to, no movie, t.v. show, video game, society or my parents. I did it because I wanted to, it's that simple. I did it to prove to myself and those who labeled me wrong. If you paid attention, I spelled out NICE GUY with the tongues. But wait, he didn't write about the tongue with the Y? Well, there was only one victim left who I truly hate, even more than the girls I murdered. And that is me, The NICE GUY!!