Interview with Noah from SKINLESS by Oswald Knox 3/6/02

Oswald Knox: Ok, we're here with Noah, guitarist for Skinless. Noah, give us a little background on the band.
SkinlessNC: Well, we are in our 10th year now. I started the band back in '92 with some friends from school. I'm the only original member left. In the past few years we have made much progress with touring and we signed to Relapse records.
Oswald Knox: You're from Upstate, right? Albany?
SkinlessNC: *progress
SkinlessNC: Yeah, from Saratoga Springs. It's a 40 minute drive North of Albany.
Oswald Knox: Didn't some of the guys in your band do a side thing with the guys from Section 8? Disciples of Berkowitz or something?
SkinlessNC: Bob from Disciples was our old drummer. A few of the guys played with ex-straightjacket members. Nothing really serious though. Sherwood jams with the guys from Section 8 just for fun.
Oswald Knox: Can I just tell you that Section 8 is one of the best bands of ever?
SkinlessNC: Yeah, they are cool. Drew and Mike(guitar and bass) are great guys. It's too bad that they broke up because I really liked them too.
Oswald Knox: 9 Ways To Say I Love You was awesome. Anyway, moving on... who are some of your biggest influences?
SkinlessNC: The bands that initially got me into metal when I was young are Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Sabbath, Def Leppard. The first death metal bands to influence me were Obituary, Suffocation, Bolt Thrower, Deicide, Cannibal Corpse etc......
Oswald Knox: Shit, did you just say Def Leppard?
SkinlessNC: Yup, there first three albums rock.......then they got gay with Hysteria.
Oswald Knox: I don't know. I think Hysteria is the best album of all time.
SkinlessNC: *their
SkinlessNC: LOL
Oswald Knox: Some of their old shit was pretty good. Definitely, everything after Hysteria sucked. Steve Clark ruled.
SkinlessNC: It's too heavy for me man
Oswald Knox: Damn right. Moving on: Do you hate Swiss people?
SkinlessNC: Well, they certainly know how to maintain neutrality
SkinlessNC: I don't have any reason to hate them
Oswald Knox: I fucking hate those fags. Fucking Ricola Horn blowing motherfuckers.
SkinlessNC: Swiss cheese is good
SkinlessNC: LOL
SkinlessNC: Shove that ricola horn right up their assholes
Oswald Knox: Yeah, but their gypping you with all those little holes. You added that shit up, that's serious money their cutting out. On the foreign cheese market, that is.
Oswald Knox: You wanna start the Anti Swiss Society with me? You could be a charter-member.
SkinlessNC: Never thought of it that way, now I hate them, those cheap bastards
SkinlessNC: Damn right
SkinlessNC: Let's fuck them up!!!
Oswald Knox: Fuck Mike Meier, right? Goddamn Swiss son of a bitch.
SkinlessNC: Neutral sonsabitches
Oswald Knox: Just scared to fight, is all
SkinlessNC: They can't fight
SkinlessNC: Right
SkinlessNC: Panzies
Oswald Knox: So anyway, what are your views on the New Darwinian Paradigm? Do you believe in the biological possibility of selective altruism? What about the Madonna/Whore dichotomy?
SkinlessNC: Skinless encourages a swissless world
Oswald Knox: Ha ha, you said Swissless. Classic
SkinlessNC: Yeah, it's all cool with me
SkinlessNC: LOL
Oswald Knox: How's Forshadowing Our Demise selling?
SkinlessNC: Doing very well, I don't know exact numbers but Relapse is happy with the response to the album
SkinlessNC: And so are we
Oswald Knox: How is being on a label? Ups and downs?
SkinlessNC: Mostly ups, Relapse promotion has really helped boost us to the next level and all the Relapse crew rule. We can't complain about anything. We have gotten great opportunities for overseas fests and touring that we couldn't get otherwise. Yeah, things are really cool so far
Oswald Knox: Just stay out of Switzerland. You want none of it. Cheap cheese motherfuckers.
SkinlessNC: We'll go there long enough to destroy them all
Oswald Knox: HELL YEAH!
Oswald Knox: Do you like wrestling?
SkinlessNC: I don't myself, but our bassist joe is a fanatic
Oswald Knox: Sucks for him.
SkinlessNC: It's all i hear about on tour
SkinlessNC: Wrestling, wrestling, wrestling!!!
SkinlessNC: He records all wrestling while we are on tour
Oswald Knox: Is he replaceable? C'mon, how good does a bassist have to be?
Oswald Knox: You should get Jason Newsted.
SkinlessNC: LOL
SkinlessNC: Joe is a cool guy
Oswald Knox: I'll tell you what, he's one hot hunk of burning love, is Joe.
SkinlessNC: He's stuck with us since '97
SkinlessNC: Ya think?
Oswald Knox: Hell yeah. I'd get down with that, you kidding me?
SkinlessNC: Do you want to wrestle him?
SkinlessNC: Wrestle
Oswald Knox: Dude, I'll bring the mayonnaise!
Oswald Knox: I don't know what that means. Sorry.
SkinlessNC: Yeeeeehaw!!!
Oswald Knox: Uh... who's your favorite No Holds Barred fighter?
SkinlessNC: Joe
Oswald Knox: Royce Gracie told me I have a big head.
SkinlessNC: Yeah, he kicks ass
SkinlessNC: So did tank abbott
Oswald Knox: And I do have a big head. My girlfriend's waist is 23 inches, my goddam head is 24.
SkinlessNC: Damn dude, it's because you're sooooo smart
SkinlessNC: Your head can't contain the knowledge
SkinlessNC: Your are gonna explode
SkinlessNC: You're
Oswald Knox: No, it's cuz I got Cranial Elephantitis or some shit. Hey, that could be a song title.
SkinlessNC: Do ya really?
Oswald Knox: Well, no. But you could imagine if I did!
SkinlessNC: Sucky
SkinlessNC: :-(
Oswald Knox: Ok, my friend, you've reached THE FINAL ROUND. At this time, I will fire off 5 quick questions. You have 30 seconds to answer each. Are you prepared?
SkinlessNC: Go!!!
Oswald Knox: The clock has started.
Oswald Knox: Comment on the whereabouts of John Tardy.
SkinlessNC: Poop
SkinlessNC: In the basement of trevor peres in nashville
SkinlessNC: Dead
Oswald Knox: Trevor Peres is one fucked up looking dude. He's no Joe from Skinless, I'll tell you that much.
Oswald Knox: Next: The singer of Disturbed. Yay or Gay?
SkinlessNC: He's cool though
Oswald Knox: Who, the guy from Disturbed?
SkinlessNC: Certainly a big GAY
SkinlessNC: Gay
SkinlessNC: No, trevor is cool
Oswald Knox: Next. How tough is Mike Ness?
SkinlessNC: Joe could wrestle him with his pinky
Oswald Knox: Question 4: Should Jeff Walker be considered for Sainthood by the Vatican?
SkinlessNC: The name walker = treason against usa on a few different occasions.....hang him
Oswald Knox: Question 5: What's your favorite movie?
SkinlessNC: Saving private ryan
Oswald Knox: Ok, stop the clock. Let's review your answers.
SkinlessNC: Okay
Oswald Knox: John Tardy... you are correct. He's dead AND in Trevor Peres's basement. Is Trevor Peres cool, though?
SkinlessNC: Yup
Oswald Knox: Question 2: Fag from Disturbed is WICKED GAY. You are correct.
SkinlessNC: Yes
Oswald Knox: Next question: Mike Ness. Unfortunately, Mike Ness is exceedingly tough. I'm sorry, that brings you down to 1500 points.
SkinlessNC: Dammit!!!!!
SkinlessNC: Let me fight him
SkinlessNC: I'm right dammit
Oswald Knox: The question about Jeff Walker.... are you aware that you just suggested that the singer of Carcass be hung? For the love of the children, Jeff Walker of Carcass? The humanity!
SkinlessNC: Oops!
SkinlessNC: I thought it was the American that was fighting for taliban
SkinlessNC: LOL
Oswald Knox: INEXCUSABLE! BOW THINE HEAD IN SHAME!
SkinlessNC: I already committed suicide for my sins
Oswald Knox: Fair enough. Do you think Jeff Walker should be Sainted?
SkinlessNC: Damn right
SkinlessNC: And then hanged
Oswald Knox: May you burn in purgatory, tethered to fat women and forced to listen to Drowning Pool for eternity.
SkinlessNC: Cool
SkinlessNC: That's heaven
Oswald Knox: Alright then, Question #5: What is your favorite movie. Your response? Saving Private Ryan. Judges? Oh, I'm sorry, we can't accept that. The correct answer was Ghostbusters. Ghostbusters.
SkinlessNC: Oh, my second fav
Oswald Knox: You know the part when he says "Egon, your mucous."?
Oswald Knox: That part was awesome.
Oswald Knox gets kicked offline.
Oswald Knox gets back online.
Oswald Knox: FUCK. Sorry about that. Someone just called my house and kicked me offline. Probably was some goddam Swiss motherfucker
SkinlessNC: Most likely
Oswald Knox: Ok, well, anyway.... thanks for your time. Any parting comments?
SkinlessNC: Poop!!!!
SkinlessNC: And.....
SkinlessNC: Thanks for interesting interview, my first on instant messenger......................
SkinlessNC: www.4skinless.com
Oswald Knox: It had to be done.
SkinlessNC: That's it buddy
Oswald Knox: Alright then, thank you Noah, and don't forget, midgets are people too.
SkinlessNC: Yes, but not swiss
Oswald Knox: Ha ha, fucking Swiss. Fuck you very much, Mike Meier.
SkinlessNC: And certainly not swiss midgets
Oswald Knox: I spit on them.
SkinlessNC: I poop on them
Oswald Knox: Thanks. Off I go!
SkinlessNC: Later man
SkinlessNC: Up up and away
http://www.myspace.com/skinless